He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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