My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if only i could text you this smell
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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