WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
