I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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