Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
