I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
