Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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