They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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