don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
