maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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