Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize