I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize