first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize