im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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