wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
