let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
