We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
