Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
