I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
