why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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