i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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