what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize