Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
