Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
