wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
