I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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