And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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