i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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