If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
