Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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