Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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