Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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