Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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