fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
