I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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