That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
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Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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