if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
