let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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