Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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