just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
