Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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