"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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