it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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