Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize