Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
