I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
