he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
