And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
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the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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