Dual....:-)
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
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I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Randomize