i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
