it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
