you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
