help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
