I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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