Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
