My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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