She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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