Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize