I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
