seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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