Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
