We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
