I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
