the condom got lost in my hair
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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